Humor Information

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Women Swallows Bullet in Hot Dog
By: Kyle Ware, Tue Oct 30th, 2007
A woman in California claims that she swallowed a bullet while eating a hot dog and bit on another. The lady was enjoying her Costco hot dog when she felt that something was wrong. At first she thought that it was her metal braces, but she investigated further and found that the cause of her discomfort wasn’t her braces at all.

Dancing with the Squirrels
By: James L. Snyder, Wed Oct 24th, 2007
I was sitting in my chair going through a large cookbook that had belonged to my grandmother when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came into the room.

Suicide Bomber Shops For Life Insurance
By: Tom Attea, Wed Oct 24th, 2007
A suicide bomber named Ali-Bye saw a commercial by Prudential of Iraq and became concerned about what could happen to his family after he completed his mission. He decided that the next day he would go shopping for life insurance.

Take a break

George Bush’s New Debate Is Osama bin Laden on Viagra
By: Karen Fish, Tue Sep 18th, 2007
Imagine that 6 years ago you turned lower Manhattan into an inferno cloud of smoke, knocked down 2 skyscrapers and killed 3,000 Americans, took out the Pentagon, and sent all of the Washington politicians scurrying from the Capitol and the White House. Now imagine that the combined forces of the United States military, CIA and FBI including satellite photography and space lasers which can see you hiding inside of a coke can in your carry on luggage and then take you out without even grazing the baloney sandwich packed neatly beside it are ordered by the President of the United States George Bush to find you and take you dead or alive……..

Funny Stuff
By: Kellie Hastings, Tue Sep 18th, 2007
Funny Bizarre Facts
The more research I do on this interesting topic the more fascinated I become. And the more I read about such things my desire for the funny increases. Thus, a new question arises. Are we living in a paranormal world where the facts are funnier then the jokes we write?

40’s Night and a Friendly Game of Poker
By: Bob Flushman, Tue Sep 18th, 2007
In my early post-college years a few select friends, Sam and Pete, shared the same interests that I did - older women and poker. We started going out on Thursday nights to a certain bar that would usually have women in their 40’s recently divorced or single for other reasons. We called it 40’s night. We would usually hit the bar around 8 pm, after the gym and after a few beers. Some nights were dead; others were a bit more exciting.

Just for fun

Global Warming Update: Eskimos Spot First Palm Tree
By: Tom Attea, Tue Apr 10th, 2007
In an especially inarguable event that global warming is proceeding apace, a group of Eskimos noticed - while hunting for caribou on the sort of unusually balmy day that they’ve been experiencing with ever-growing frequency - a tree they were not familiar with, growing high above the tundra.

Islamic Woman Nabbed For Wearing Belt Made Of Live Crocodiles
By: Tom Attea, Tue Apr 10th, 2007
Some news stories are so funny there’s little to do except present them for any of our readers who haven’t chanced upon them. Here’s one that demonstrates female Islamic dress can get even more frightening than it already is.

Jokes

Why Wait For Someone Else To Create Really Funny Jokes?
By: Graham Parry, Tue Feb 13th, 2007
Let’s face it, we all love a laugh. We need funny events, funny jokes, comedy shows, cartoons, or even just listening to someone with an infectious laugh, because when we laugh it’s nature’s drug free high. We feel good about life, just for those moments.

Party Jokes: Startling But Unnecessary
By: Jack Reider, Tue Dec 19th, 2006
Here, I focus on a range of items and features that we use in life without giving them a second thought such as Coca Cola, body muscles and holding ones own breath. Though, most of these notes are not fundamentally necessary, they are such that you can use them for a good laugh, at a drinks party or for picking up women or men.

Tax Jokes and Quotes
By: Richard A. Chapo, Thu Sep 21st, 2006
Tax Jokes and Quotes: Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?
Quote: “Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it’s just hard to get through. That’s progress.” - Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner.

A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes
By: Richard A. Chapo, Mon May 1st, 2006

The Joke’s On You - Who Should be the Butt of Your Jokes?
By: Tom Raymond, Sat Oct 8th, 2005
This article was prompted by something I heard (second hand) about the performance of a local magician at a child’s birthday party. Now, granted, this wasn’t done by a clown, but I’ve seen clowns doing similar things. As one of his tricks, he has a child (a young girl approximately 9 years old) holding two handkerchiefs knotted together. He pulls her hands apart, and instead of a third handkerchief appearing (or a flag, or whatever else) he has a pair of ladies’ panties appear. The magician received the reaction he wanted: the audience laughed loud and long at the discomfiture of the young girl. She, however, was on the verge of tears, having been publicly humiliated, for having done nothing more than helping on stage when asked.

The Boston Cartoon Terror Attack

I think they over reacted just a bit. They won’t be able to convict those guys of anything serious because their INTENT was to promote a freakin’ cartoon. No other part of the country freaked out like this. I hope they learn something about marketing from this. In the end no harm was done other than some people getting caught in massive traffic jams. No long term damage so free the hair guys! I am glad they kept their sense of humor and realized the charges against them will never hod up. I would also guess they will get lots of people offering to pay for their defense even though a cheap attorney can beat this rap. Way to go Boston you are the laughing stock of the country.

Humor Articles

• Home for the Holidays: Thirteen Signs You’ve Stayed Too Long - (S. Tzirlin)
  “There’s no place,” sang Perry Como, “like home for the holidays.” As we revel in the season’s warmth and good cheer, delighting in the musical clatter of our kitchen gadgets and celebrating the passing of another year…
• It’s Not That Easy to Deal With A Monkey In Malay - (Wan Yee)
  ” Awww, she’s cute,” a speaker of Malay may say about his pretty girl friend. Change the subject to a baby orangutan, he may NOT say, ” Awww, it is cute.” Why? He has to say,” Awww, the orangutan is cute.”
• Why Worry? - (Stupid Wisdom)
  In this life there are only two things to worry about. Either you are sickOr you are healthy If you are healthy you don’t have anything to worry about, but if you are sick you have two things to worry about. Either you will get well again….
• Trivia Questions And Answers By A Trivia Break - (Deanna Mascle)
  1. What was the name of the first computer game? A. Pong B. Tennis for Two C. Pacman D. Donkey Kong 2. How were the Hawaiian Islands settled? A. By pirates B. By Polynesians C. By Spaniards D. By English 3.
• Sure, You Can Afford To Lose Your Cell Phone, But How About Your $500 Blackberry? - (Tom Attea)
  It’s one thing to misplace your rudimentary cell phone. But it’s another thing to lose your new slim Blackberry or your Motorola Q, each of which goes for about $500.
• Office Dare - (Ken Chee)
  Some ideas for your company party game? Relax and enjoy. One Point Office Dares 1) Run one lap around the office at top speed. 2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other’non-player’ must be in the toilet at the time).
• How I Spent My Summer Vacation - (Lee Goins)
  One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world.
• Caution When Upgrading - (Stupid Wisdom)
  Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
• A Redneck’s Guide to Wine Appreciation - (Ross Lambert)
  First, allow me a moment to elucidate my qualifications: My grandpa was a bootlegger in the backwoods of Tennessee during prohibition.

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Ugly Fabric : Home for the Holidays: Thirteen Signs You’ve Stayed Too Long

It’s Not That Easy to Deal With A Monkey In Malay

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CAN WE LAUGH NOW?
By: Cindy Jaynes, Wed Mar 7th, 2007
I find it difficult, if not impossible, to believe that anyone can get through any given day in our society without a sense of humor. Granted, on the surface there do seem to be fewer current events that can inspire a giggle.

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